What is the capacity for love? Where does it come from? I have been asking myself, “What is true love?” I watch babies and they have a wide open heart full of the capacity for love. They come into this world equipped to love. Then life happens and we close up little by little or maybe by experiencing life’s big hurts. When you were a baby and you cried did someone comfort you? Did you feel safe and cared for? Did you come into the world as gently as possible? Were you able to lock eyes with your mother and bond while you were breastfed in the first hour of life? Were you held in your parent’s arms and never left alone to cry? Ask any baby what they want and they will most likely say a warm soft breast with the perfect food provided by mother nature and a dry diaper. They just want to be held as they were in the womb. They want to be with their parents. Was there a bond formed from the minute you were born with no interruptions? This bond is the glue that holds us together. It is the bond of love.
I believe that the more positive the early minutes, hours, weeks, months and years are for us the greater capacity we have for love. The more we will crave this known experience. We will continue to seek this out our entire lives. Our need to love and be loved is one of the strongest driving forces on the planet. Yet how many of us can say we have all the love and support we need in life? You trusted life and yet life wasn’t always giving you what you wanted. Perhaps you have lost your faith in love? We can heal and learn and try again and again. We have an unlimited capacity to love if we can allow ourselves to give.
My greatest teacher with regard to love and life was my infant son. He was so open and so trusting. I did everything in my power to make sure he was safe and well taken care of. I soon realized I could not protect him from everything. We went through all the usual parenting challenges. Our early bond helped to hold us steadfast no matter what challenges we were facing. The hormones of love were strong before, during and after birth. He was born at home so nothing interfered with his birth journey. He was nursed for almost a year even though I worked and was a single mother.
It has been wonderful to watch him becoming a father. He has the gift of love to pass on to his infant son. He helped his wife learn to breastfeed. Was it possible that he remembered on some deeper level the love that was given to him? Their baby is thriving and has such a wonderful chance to be loved and happy. It is my hope that he too will have the capacity to love and will pass this on to his child.
The gifts that are given when we provide our children with gentle undisturbed birth, bonding and breastfeeding are treasures beyond measure. We feel the true power of love when we allow ourselves to trust life and our bodies and the beautiful design of nature. It is my hope that all parents will be given the opportunity to experience the love hormones present at birth. The cycle will repeat over and over as we see the love being passed on to our children as their greatest legacy.
“If you deceive someone, you lose one of life’s greatest treasures, you lose the capacity to trust. Because without trust, love is not possible.” – Osho